So-Called Karma 21

Yulu City was right next to Moon City, and the high-speed train ride took only two hours.

Yan Xianchuan searched for tickets and was about to buy one when she remembered she had to go look at dresses tomorrow. She reluctantly exited the booking page.

Back on the forum, the discussion had already blown up, with comments mostly saying the same things—things like "You're in deep," "No hope for you," "Got yourself some pure love."

Someone asked her to elaborate: what was the situation, how did they meet, and offered to help her analyze it.

Three cobblers with no shoes could still outdo Zhuge Liang. Besides, these strangers she'd never met, standing from a third-person perspective, had emotions she lacked—maybe they really could help answer her questions.

Yan Xianchuan organized her past experiences, omitting specific people and events, and said simply, "We were introduced by our parents. She's very smart, very determined, thoughtful in everything she does, and gentle in conversation. She has her own career, ideals, goals, and pursuits."

As she wrote, she gradually sank into memories: "No matter what major incident occurs, she always stays calm and comes up with the right solution immediately. She's a pillar of support for many people."

"She's also very tolerant, very accepting, and great at conversation. Her face is the most beautiful I've ever seen, and her soul is too."

"Perfect," one person replied. "If that's not liking, then what is?"

"I don't understand," Yan Xianchuan said, confused. "What is liking like?"

"Oh my, seriously," another person replied. "Then let me ask you: is she special to you? Different from everyone else?"

"Yes," Yan Xianchuan answered.

"Alright, let me ask you again: why do you always listen to her?" the person said.

"Because everything she says is right," she said truthfully.

"How can anyone always be right? She's not a god. Your filter is off the charts, sis!" The person laughed helplessly. "Look at what you just wrote—it's all praise, not a single flaw. Can a person have no flaws? No. But you can't see any. Why? Simple—because your eyes are blinded by love!"

"In this day and age, someone's still into pure love. Absolutely unreal."

Yan Xianchuan read his words, then looked back at her own comment, and suddenly realized it was true.

Everyone has flaws; no one is perfect. Could Lu Mingqiu really have none?

She thought seriously, trying hard to recall, until she broke out in a cold sweat and her mind was in a turmoil—because she truly could not find a single fault.

In her heart, Lu Mingqiu was radiant and flawless.

Stunned, she slowly moved her gaze to the latest reply—"It's like this when you like someone for the first time. I was the same back then. I fell for a friend I'd known for ages. Seeing him go out and eat with others made me angry. At the time I thought it was possessiveness—he had new friends and didn't bring me. Later, when the three of us went out together, I still wasn't happy. Then I realized it wasn't that I was upset about not being included; it was that I wanted him to be with only me. Later I kissed him forcefully and found out he'd had a crush on me all along. We're very happy now. Once you're sure of your feelings, you must pursue them bravely. Don't miss out—if you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Liking.

So this was liking.

At first, she used to space out often, aimlessly letting her mind wander. Now, every time she spaced out, she thought of Lu Mingqiu.

She thought of her eyebrows, her blue eyes, her soft lips, her gentle smile, her focused gaze, her cold killing intent.

She thought of her sweet, warm breath.

And then her heart felt warm and full, as if something was stirring, about to burst out, but she couldn't put it into words.

So this was liking.

Yan Xianchuan scrambled off the bed, at a loss, and paced two circles in the open space. This was a good thing—a wonderful thing!

She now knew what liking was, understood love. Wasn't that a cause for great celebration?

She rushed out the door like the wind, raced to the corridor, but gradually slowed to a stop. She stood there, staring blankly at the sky-blue hallway for a while, then turned and trudged downstairs. She rummaged through the fridge—nothing.

So she pushed open the door, went downstairs, and walked to the 24-hour convenience store to buy herself an ice cream cone.

The night breeze was cool, carrying the scent of autumn.

Yan Xianchuan sat down on a bench by the lotus pond, staring at a warm yellow lotus-shaped palace lantern.

Every year during the Lantern Festival, there was a lantern fair. The night was livelier than the day, with all kinds of lanterns hung high, more numerous than the stars in the sky. Winter was cold, with fine snow drifting from the sky, but people's enthusiasm could dispel the chill. Yan Xianchuan was bundled up tightly, wearing a red velvet hat. She looked like a little fire fox curled up on her head. Her father held her, her mother held her hand, and they wandered through the stalls.

Before long, she had accumulated many little trinkets—a woven bracelet, a hair clip with a crouching tiger, and a strawberry tanghulu in her hand.

She had just lost two baby teeth, and another was loose, so she had to nibble painfully with the other side. But the tanghulu was sweet and crisp, so a little difficulty was nothing.

A little while later, her father put her down, having spotted some palace lanterns at a stall that could be set afloat. Her mother joined him in picking them out and writing wishes on them.

Yan Xianchuan obediently stood still, munching on her tanghulu, when a little boy, about her age, suddenly came over, snatched the tanghulu from her hand, and shouted to a middle-aged woman behind him, "I want this!"

Yan Xianchuan was a bit displeased and said in a slow but clear voice, "Give it back."

"No, I want it!" The boy was full of himself, showing off the tanghulu in front of her and even taking a bite.

The woman said, "My Xiaoteng just likes you, that's why he took your food. Otherwise, he wouldn't even want it. Besides, that stuff's been eaten by others—it's dirty."

Yan Xianchuan turned her gaze, looking at the mother and son's identical fleshy faces, then down at the slightly loose floor tiles. Finally, she turned around, tugged at her mother's clothes, and said, "Mom, he took my stuff."

Her mother looked down, saw her empty hand, and then noticed the gloating boy. Her pretty, gentle face instantly turned cold, and she said loudly, "Whose child is this? Don't his parents discipline him? How dare he just snatch someone else's food? Where are his parents? A kid this young out playing without his parents? Did he get lost? Let's call the police!"

At her shout, people around immediately looked over.

The middle-aged woman's face fell. "What do you mean by that! I'm his mom, right here! If your eyes are bad, get some glasses. Never seen a woman with such a big mouth."

Her mother said with a smile, "So he has a real mom, huh. I thought he didn't. You've got good eyes—didn't you see your own kid snatch my daughter's tanghulu? Selective blindness?"

The middle-aged woman shook the fat on her face and glared at her. "Our Xiaoteng likes her, that's why he took her food. He wouldn't take just anyone's!"

Her father slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "So the country has new laws now—as long as you claim to like something, you can commit robbery! I've been out of touch with current affairs for too long; I didn't even know about such a big thing!"

The adults quarreled with sharp tongues, and Yan Xianchuan stared at the fat kid. When she saw he was looking at her, she rolled her eyes and made a trash gesture.

The two children were short; no one noticed what she did. But the fat kid's loud yell and charge toward her couldn't be ignored by anyone.

"You want to hit someone, huh? Call the police!"

In the end, a patrol officer maintaining order at the street corner came over, scolded the mother and son, fined them, and made them compensate and apologize.

Yan Xianchuan deliberately smiled so the fat kid could see. He immediately threw a tantrum, making a huge fuss. The officer scolded him again, telling the woman to discipline her child properly. The woman apologized and smiled while slapping him across the face.

The onlookers gradually dispersed, leaving only the three of them. Her father then said mysteriously, "We have a big hero today—guess who?"

Her mother played along, "Wow! Who is it? Who could it be?"

"It's our treasure Chuanyan!" He lifted her up, letting her accept her parents' cheers like a little hero.

Her mother put an ice cream cone into her hand and patted her head. "Today Chuanyan was wonderful. You did a very right thing. As a reward, here's an ice cream cone."

Yan Xianchuan finished it quickly. Not satisfied, she wanted another.

"No," her mother said gently. "You can't eat too many sweets; you'll get cavities. But if you want one, there's a way."

She changed her tone and said, "We taught Chuanyan a lot before, right? To test whether you remember and have put it into practice, from today on, we'll set a rule."

"If you control your temper and do something according to what Mom and Dad taught you, you'll get a reward."

"Ice cream?" Yan Xianchuan blinked.

"Sure!" her mother said decisively.

"Cake?" Yan Xianchuan added.

"Anything!" her mother said seriously. "But you mustn't lie. Lying is wrong."

...

The night wind lifted the tassels under the palace lantern. A jogger with a golden-brown long-haired dog ran past Yan Xianchuan. The dog wagged its tail happily, its eyes fixed on its owner.

She slowly ate the last piece of the cone, murmuring to herself, "Well done. Keep it up."

She sat on the wooden bench for a good while longer before getting up, returning to her room, lying down, and falling into a deep sleep.

The next day, she slept until she naturally woke and then went downstairs for breakfast.

Lu Mingqiu was stretching in the living room. Seeing her come down, she smiled and said, "Good morning. Wait a moment; I'll order breakfast to be delivered. Is there anything you'd like to eat?"

Yan Xianchuan shook her head. "No, order whatever you like."

"Then let's have wonton soup." As she spoke, Lu Mingqiu lowered her leg that had been stretched over her head and sent a message to the restaurant.

She was wearing only a sports tank top and leggings, clearly having done a long morning workout. Her temples were slightly damp, and a few stray strands of hair clung to her face.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said.

Yan Xianchuan watched her go upstairs, her gaze traveling from her head down to her slender ankles.

Breakfast arrived quickly. It felt as if Lu Mingqiu had hardly been gone when the doorbell rang, making Yan Xianchuan wonder if the delivery person had been waiting at the door the whole time, ready to knock the moment they were called.

Two bowls of wonton, four shrimp dumplings, a plate of scallion egg pancakes, a basket of buns, two glasses of soy milk, and five small dishes—the square table was laid out generously.

Lu Mingqiu came down with slightly damp hair and saw the person sitting at the dining table waiting for her.

"Looks pretty good. I haven't tried this place before, but the reviews said it was decent." She pulled out a chair, sat down, and picked up a pair of chopsticks. "Go on, try it. If it's good, we'll order from them again tomorrow."

She started eating, and only then did Yan Xianchuan pick up a spoon and scoop up a wonton. The meat filling was savory and juicy, the corn sweet and refreshing. She popped them one after another, unable to stop.

"There's something I want to say." She bit her chopsticks, her gaze calm.

Lu Mingqiu suddenly felt a sense of foreboding.

"I like you," she said, in the same tone one might use to discuss the weather. "I know I have a history of mental illness, and you know too. But what I'm saying is the result of careful consideration and confirmation."

"It's not a whim, nor is it a reaction to stimulation."

Silence.

Lu Mingqiu was silent for a long while. This scenario had come much earlier than she had anticipated.

"I'm sorry, but I can't reciprocate your feelings." After deliberating for a long time, she gave up the lengthy, tactful refusal and chose the simplest, most direct rejection.

She also admitted that this person was special to her, different from others.

She would even make the decision to put herself in danger just to take the other out for some air. But this was truly within the bounds of friendship. She only regarded her as a friend, and she had only this one friend.

Even if in the future she might develop feelings over time, right now there was no romantic love. Since they had agreed to be honest with each other, she didn't want to deceive her.

"It's okay," Yan Xianchuan said instead, surprisingly at ease. "I just had to say it. It doesn't mean I'm forcing you to accept."

She lowered her eyes and twirled the straw in her soy milk cup, her expression as calm as still water.

Whether the other rejected or accepted, this should have been a good thing, yet she couldn't feel happy.

Lu Mingqiu carefully observed her expression, thinking she was disappointed because she hadn't gotten a response. She wanted to offer some comforting words, but then she thought—she had just rejected her confession, and turning around to comfort her would be too absurd.

What could she say? How should she say it?

Even though Lu Mingqiu considered herself emotionally intelligent, she couldn't think of anything appropriate at the moment.

The dining area fell into a subtle silence.

Lu Mingqiu pursed her lips and awkwardly changed the subject. "Do you want to go to the mall later? Or we could just use the holographic projection in the fitting room to try on dresses—the effect is the same."

"Let's go out," Yan Xianchuan said softly. "I want to go for a walk."

"Alright," Lu Mingqiu said.

After breakfast, they cleaned up. Just as they reached the door, Lu Mingqiu suddenly said, "No need for disguises this time."

Yan Xianchuan lowered her hand from her earring and followed her downstairs, showing her true face.

She looked at her and asked quietly, "Can we hold hands?"

Yesterday, Lu Mingqiu had held hands because she thought it would make the other happy. Yan had suffered, gotten new eyes, and since the topic hadn't been brought up, a little hand-holding was fine.

Many people on the street walk hand in hand—friends too. It didn't inherently mean anything special. It was only because Yan Xianchuan had different feelings that she turned a normal act into something improper.

But now that the feelings were confessed, logically, they should keep some distance. Lu Mingqiu didn't want to be someone who toyed with another's feelings.

Yet seeing the other's visibly low spirits—and she couldn't figure out how she'd managed to read "pitiful" from that expressionless face—Lu Mingqiu sighed loudly in her heart, softened, and took her hand.