Bangs: Jiang Xu's Gloom

Actually, she didn't want to ask, but if she didn't, that curious, probing feeling would fill her entire heart. Jiang Xu couldn't easily focus on several things at once—like studying and matters concerning Liang Xiaoqing; she couldn't pay attention to both simultaneously.

It wasn't that her thoughts were always being led around by Liang Xiaoqing. Jiang Xu would arrange everything she noticed in order from start to finish, then pick out what was relatively important to her, analyze the problem, focus on the cause, and then solve it.

Very logical thinking, clear and organized. After two years of study, Jiang Xu felt her thought process was becoming clearer and clearer. Apart from those two matters, there were other things she had yet to confirm.

For instance, how exactly did Liang Xiaoqing bring her back? It was still a mystery.

The math problem she'd done during last night's self-study session still had a part she didn't fully understand, though she'd gotten it right thanks to her extensive practice with similar problems.

The strange thoughts that occasionally popped into her mind from the bottom of her heart—she didn't quite understand those either.

Jiang Erya had told her she might not be able to continue studying and would be forced to drop out. Her classmates' attitudes toward her had gradually improved, yet her temperament hadn't changed at all compared to before—in fact, she'd become even colder. So why had their attitudes shifted so much?

Even staying at school, Jiang Xu would run into many problems from time to time. But she'd long ago learned a truth: not every problem needed to be dug up by the roots. Sometimes getting an answer wasn't the best choice.

Jiang Xu felt she didn't need to know the answers to those questions; at most, she'd spare some worry for Jiang Erya's troubles, and the rest of the time she remained calm.

It was just that some answers she absolutely had to know.

"Hm?" Liang Xiaoqing washed the dishes efficiently. While Jiang Xu was still tangled up in her thoughts, she'd already cleaned the dishes and put them in their proper places.

The countertop was spotless, thanks to Jiang Xu. Liang Xiaoqing only needed to wash two bowls. She looked at the gleaming surface—the cutting board, the kitchen knife, the small pot on the stove—all back in their places. The more she looked, the more satisfied she felt, thinking Jiang Xu was truly a thoughtful little helper. Liang Xiaoqing wiped the water from her hands and, on impulse, reached out to pat Jiang Xu's head.

"Wang Qing," she recalled.

But she overlooked the fact that Jiang Xu was no longer the little girl who only came up to her neck.

Her fingers touched her face—smooth, the baby fat on her cheeks springy and soft. Liang Xiaoqing naturally didn't let go; she gave her face a casual stroke. "Teacher Wang—I told you before, Wang Qing, who teaches high school math. He used to teach junior high math classes. Around New Year's, he sent me a bunch of specialty goods from his hometown. They're still over there."

The pleasant texture made Liang Xiaoqing reluctant to pull her hand away. Seeing Jiang Xu watching her seriously, she took the chance to pinch her cheek, then pointed at the two plastic bags piled in the corner of the living room.

Liang Xiaoqing smiled. "I told him not to send them, but he's just so enthusiastic."

Her words carried a faint helplessness.

"..." Jiang Xu didn't say anything. She understood what Liang Xiaoqing said and yet didn't. She didn't notice the tone in Liang Xiaoqing's voice—if she had, she definitely wouldn't have let herself wear such a sour expression.

"...Oh." After a long while, Jiang Xu uttered a single "oh."

"What's wrong with you, Little Xu?" Liang Xiaoqing asked as she wiped the countertop, her movements unhurried, seemingly reading Jiang Xu's mood from her face, so she asked with puzzlement.

Jiang Xu quickly shook her head. "Nothing..."

She really couldn't hide anything. Jiang Xu used the excuse of going back to work on her test paper to walk away. If she stayed any longer, she'd surely have her thoughts guessed by Sister Xiaoqing.

Actually, she found it strange. She'd never had these thoughts before. She remembered Wang Qing—because Liang Xiaoqing was quite nice to him, and whenever they ran into each other, she was almost always there, yet she'd never felt anything special. It was like... Jiang Xu thought as she walked.

Right, it had been recent. She suddenly became very aware of who was around Sister Xiaoqing, keeping a constant watch, and she'd stay on guard against males like Wang Qing. It wasn't that she feared men—it was... a kind of hostile feeling... Jiang Xu thought it over and decided it was because she and Liang Xiaoqing were too close, so that if one day Liang Xiaoqing wasn't as close to her, she'd feel an unprecedented discomfort. She wanted all of Liang Xiaoqing's attention to be on her and her alone.

That kind of thought was in itself somewhat abnormal, but for a child like Jiang Xu who had lacked a sense of security since childhood, it wasn't that abnormal either—at least during adolescence, wanting others' attention on oneself was a normal stage.

"Little Xu..." Liang Xiaoqing finished tidying the countertop and followed Jiang Xu out.

As soon as Jiang Xu heard her call, she turned her head right away. "Sister Xiaoqing."

Liang Xiaoqing smiled. "Hold on." She bent down to straighten the hem of Jiang Xu's sweater. The sweater was the same style as Liang Xiaoqing's, just a different color—hers was white, Jiang Xu's black. Seeing the girl growing up day by day, Liang Xiaoqing suddenly realized that the sweater Jiang Xu was wearing had become a bit small.

The edge of the sweater had curled up; Liang Xiaoqing smoothed it down. "It's still cold out. Go put on your coat."

She smoothed the sweater down and then tugged at the hem with both hands, saying, "The clothes are getting small. Little Xu, have you grown taller recently..." She held up her hand to compare. Jiang Xu stood still obediently, and Liang Xiaoqing also tidied her hair a bit. During the summer after second year of junior high, on a whim, Liang Xiaoqing had taken Jiang Xu to the hair salon in town to get bangs trimmed. She thought they looked nice, but Jiang Xu wasn't so satisfied.

Of course, she wouldn't tell Liang Xiaoqing she didn't like them. She'd just let Liang Xiaoqing hold her hand, walk through the places they often went in town, then ride the bike back to Shuiqing Town before dark.

The reason Liang Xiaoqing knew Jiang Xu wasn't happy with the bangs was that Jiang Xu had spent the whole afternoon gloomily accompanying her.

Thinking back on it that night, she couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Jiang Xu was too reserved. She'd rather sulk on her own than say anything to her.

Then she'd pinched Jiang Xu's cheek and said, "Are you unhappy with the bangs I got you cut?" It seemed that during second year of junior high, Jiang Xu was the most clingy to her; even in the sweltering heat that made you sweat at the slightest movement, she insisted on sleeping with her. She almost always mentioned buying a folding bed, yet she always forgot. And besides, a folding bed was nowhere near as comfortable as a proper bed; if they bought another single bed, the cramped bedroom wouldn't even have room to walk through...

The straw mat paired with the fan was enough to beat the heat. The old fan creaked and groaned, lulling one to sleep. Liang Xiaoqing heard the cicadas chirping outside the window, and thinking Jiang Xu had already fallen asleep, she carefully withdrew her arm.

It wouldn't do to wake Jiang Xu...

The next moment, however, Jiang Xu pounced into her arms, burying her head in her chest, rubbing against the oversized old T-shirt. Liang Xiaoqing wasn't wearing a bra, and a wave of embarrassment hit her; she instinctively shrank back, but Jiang Xu wrapped both arms around her waist. Her slender arms were like seaweed in water, soft yet clinging, only focused on holding on. Liang Xiaoqing smelled the scent of body wash wafting from Jiang Xu, mixed with the fragrance of a young girl. She grew more and more embarrassed, but Jiang Xu didn't seem to think anything was wrong, rubbing her head against her chest with abandon.

"...Little Xu." Liang Xiaoqing's cheeks flushed slightly as she gently tugged at Jiang Xu's hand.

Jiang Xu was still bothered by her bangs, her voice muffled against her chest. "It's all Sister Xiaoqing's fault. What if I've become ugly? Will Sister Xiaoqing dislike me?"

"..." Liang Xiaoqing truly hadn't expected Jiang Xu to care so much about her bangs. Without realizing it, she'd made Jiang Xu unhappy. It was that night that Liang Xiaoqing realized she'd been a bit overbearing—she should have asked Jiang Xu if she liked bangs beforehand... She inexplicably felt a sense of guilt, and momentarily forgetting all those trivial matters, she spent the whole night just figuring out how to soothe her...

A year later, the bangs that had once reached her brows had grown out quite a bit. Jiang Xu used a clip to pin back the hair that was too long to tuck away, leaving a few stray strands at her forehead. The afternoon sunlight was just right, gently falling on her hair. Under Liang Xiaoqing's careful tending, Jiang Xu was like a budding flower waiting to bloom; her newly grown hair was thick and lush, and its quality was much better than before. At a glance, she was truly a striking young woman emerging from the water.

No matter how Liang Xiaoqing looked at her, she was satisfied. Though Jiang Xu's appearance had matured considerably, her eyes still showed how much she relied on her. Seeing Jiang Xu not moving, she went over to the sofa and picked up the coat to hand to her. "I used to say we could swap clothes, but now you've grown taller—can't do that anymore."

"..."

"Go on, then. Do your test paper." Liang Xiaoqing watched as Jiang Xu put on the coat. "Don't take the coat off again, alright? Catching a cold wouldn't be good."

Jiang Xu nodded and sat down at the desk, her gaze never leaving Liang Xiaoqing. She watched Liang Xiaoqing walk toward the bedroom, the beaded curtain at the doorway gently lifted as she passed, the beads clattering like broken jade. Jiang Xu watched in silence, and through the blur, she saw Liang Xiaoqing casually pull off her sweater, revealing a black fitted thermal shirt underneath that clung to her skin, outlining the graceful curves of a woman's figure. Jiang Xu blinked. Liang Xiaoqing put on an old coat again, covering everything Jiang Xu had just seen. She looked down at her own chest and frowned slightly.

Then she thought she wasn't like that.

Because Liang Xiaoqing's was more eye-catching.

With a rustle, Liang Xiaoqing lifted the curtain again, sleeves rolled high on both arms, looking like she meant business. Jiang Xu quickly averted her gaze and focused all her attention on her test paper.

Liang Xiaoqing had a habit of doing a thorough cleaning of the house every week. Because of the thought she'd just had, Jiang Xu felt a bit deflated as she continued working on her problems. She always felt that what she was doing was wrong, yet she couldn't change it. Every time she made up her mind, she'd be pulled back to where Liang Xiaoqing was.

Jiang Xu forced herself to write, concentrating on the paper as if competing with herself. Fortunately, her train of thought gradually became smoother.

The sunlight outside the window was just right, the lush green leaves reflected on the glass, just like many afternoons before.

Jiang Xu sat at the desk doing problems, while Liang Xiaoqing tidied the house.

Neither disturbed the other, both used to each other's presence. Even if Liang Xiaoqing made the occasional noise, it wouldn't bother Jiang Xu.