Sanitary Pad: Jiang Xu's Heart Swayed Along with It

She hadn't been sitting long when a cramping pain seized her abdomen. Jiang Xu was the type to endure pain silently, but this was hard to bear. One moment it was a sharp, twisting ache, the next it dulled, accompanied by an uncomfortable sensation of something bearing down.

She figured her stomach was acting up—she often skipped meals or ate irregularly, so this was nothing new. She'd had these episodes before and could usually push through them quickly.

Liang Xiaoqing was still asleep, and Jiang Xu didn't want to disturb her. She poured herself a glass of hot water, carried it to her desk, and sipped it while doing her homework.

Focusing on her assignments seemed to ease the pain a little. With the warmth of the water settling in her stomach, the cramping softened into a mild, dull ache. In her experience, this kind of discomfort didn't last long, but this time felt different.

She felt the pressure in her abdomen slowly increasing. She waited, but it didn't get better—it only grew worse. Unable to endure it any longer, she slumped over the desk, pressing her hand against her stomach to try to relieve the ache. Fine beads of sweat broke out on her forehead, and Jiang Xu was completely bewildered by what was happening.

A warm rush of liquid surged from somewhere unknown. Jiang Xu's face went pale, and she hurried to the bathroom. Once she squatted down, she felt a bit better. She held her breath, enduring the pain in the cramped space, breathing slowly and carefully.

Could something be seriously wrong with her body? She remembered the elderly people in the village—one day they'd seem perfectly fine, and within two days, you'd hear news of their death. It turned out the disease had already invaded their bones; on the surface they looked whole, but inside they were already rotting away.

Jiang Xu had seen and heard of such things many times as a child. She'd always feared Wang Cai might be like that, that if she collapsed one day, she'd never get up again. But what was even more tragic was that Jiang Xu herself had caused Wang Cai's misfortune.

The thing she feared most hadn't happened. But now Jiang Xu was terrified that she might be one of those people she'd seen or heard about who had died.

Her skin was still intact, but her insides had already decayed.

Jiang Xu's nose tingled, and she began to cry. She stood up shakily and saw a patch of red blood in the toilet. Her heart jolted—this only confirmed her fears.

Was she going to die?

...

Jiang Xu froze.

Then, without even realizing it, tears streamed down her face uncontrollably.

Was she really going to die?

Why else would she be bleeding so much...

Her stomach still hurt, and a steady warmth kept flowing downward. Jiang Xu was terrified. She wanted to tell Sister Xiaoqing, but she also felt like she'd be causing trouble for her.

She cleaned up the bathroom but lingered inside, not wanting to come out. She leaned against the windowsill, where the sunlight was bright but not scorching—spring sun was always just right for soothing the heart. Outside, the tall trees were lush with dense foliage, vibrant and green.

Faint light flickered across Jiang Xu's face through the gaps in the leaves. When you knew you were heading toward death, you still couldn't bear to let go. She stayed there for a while, calming herself down. Two tear streaks had dried on her cheeks in the soft breeze, and her eyes, washed by tears, seemed even clearer and brighter.

Jiang Xu was still too young to bear some things on her own.

She rubbed her eyes hard, then walked out of the bathroom.

As if nothing had happened.

By then, Liang Xiaoqing had woken up.

The room was filled with the sounds of her moving about. Napping was her routine; if she didn't sleep, she'd have no energy for the afternoon. Jiang Xu didn't have the habit of napping, and Liang Xiaoqing had once worried she couldn't handle the heavy schoolwork, always reminding her to rest during lunch break. Jiang Xu had listened at first, but later she went back to doing homework on her own.

Everyone had different habits, and besides, at Jiang Xu's age, full of energy, skipping a nap was no big deal. Over time, Liang Xiaoqing stopped mentioning it.

Liang Xiaoqing poured herself a glass of water and came out to find Jiang Xu missing.

Where had that child gone?

She muttered to herself, then went back to her bedroom. She needed to make a new schedule and write lesson plans for the next week.

She ended up writing all afternoon. When Liang Xiaoqing was truly focused on something, she'd forget the time. When she finally emerged from the bedroom, the slanting evening light cast a glow across the room, the sky a purplish orange. She saw Jiang Xu slumped listlessly over the desk.

Maybe she was tired, or maybe she was drowsy from not napping.

It seemed she couldn't give Jiang Xu free rein in everything after all—she was still a child.

She walked over slowly, the sunset casting a long shadow behind her. The two shadows on the ground stretched one long, one short as Liang Xiaoqing bent down and gently patted Jiang Xu's shoulder. In the dim light, it looked as though the two shadows were leaning together.

The soft orange light caught Jiang Xu's hair and Liang Xiaoqing's face.

"Xiao Xu, Xiao Xu." Jiang Xu didn't react. Liang patted her cheek. "Are you sleepy? If you're tired, go lie down for a bit."

Still no response.

"Xiao Xu." Liang called again, and this time Jiang Xu shifted slightly.

Her face was damp with sweat, and her lips were frighteningly pale.

Liang Xiaoqing immediately noticed Jiang Xu's complexion: "Xiao Xu, what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

Liang Xiaoqing was startled.

"Xiao Xu, Xiao Xu, you..."

Jiang Xu remained in her position, hand pressed to her stomach.

She was convinced she was gravely ill. All afternoon, the pain hadn't lessened—it had only gotten worse.

Under Liang Xiaoqing's anxious calls, Jiang Xu couldn't hold it in anymore. Her nose stung, and she burst into tears.

"...Sister Xiaoqing, I'm going to die..."

Tears spilled from her eyes. Liang Xiaoqing was startled again: "Don't talk about dying. Come on, let's go to the clinic."

She grew a little anxious, grabbing Jiang Xu's arm: "If you're sick, we go to the hospital. Where does it hurt?"

"..."

Jiang Xu stayed silent. She couldn't bring herself to say what was happening down there. Under Liang Xiaoqing's urgent gaze, her face turned completely red.

Liang Xiaoqing didn't press her. She just tugged her toward the door: "Come on, let's go to the clinic and see first!"

But Jiang Xu resisted: "No, I'm not going!"

"Xiao Xu."

"I won't go!" Jiang Xu pulled her hand free. "I'm not going. It's nothing serious, just a minor issue. I can endure it... It's fine, really."

"Xiao Xu!" Liang Xiaoqing's head throbbed, and her voice rose. She didn't know what Jiang Xu was being so stubborn about. "Look how pale your face is!"

"..."

Jiang Xu's silence only made Liang Xiaoqing angrier.

She firmly pulled Jiang Xu to her feet, refusing to let her have her way this time.

"You're going!"

Just as Liang Xiaoqing pulled her up, a faint "drip, drip" sound echoed on the floor. Liang looked down—there were two spots of blood. Jiang Xu yanked her hand away in fright, trying to hide the shameful marks.

For some reason, Jiang Xu felt an instinctive shame about this, even though it had come from her own body.

"I..." Jiang Xu's eyes were red again, tears falling. "I don't know what happened..."

Liang Xiaoqing was dazed for a moment, then realization dawned.

She watched Jiang Xu, at a loss, standing there frozen, blood also staining the stool.

Jiang Xu sobbed softly, as if she'd committed some grave sin: "I don't know why either..."

But Liang Xiaoqing knew exactly what this was.

Without her noticing, Jiang Xu had grown up a little more. And she'd still been treating her like a child.

Jiang Xu had more delicate thoughts than when she was younger, and her body was developing toward adulthood.

Liang Xiaoqing suddenly felt she'd overlooked something. Her gaze unconsciously drifted to Jiang Xu's slightly budding chest and the messy floor.

"...I didn't mean to dirty the floor..."

Jiang Xu curled up like a turtle, but at least she was facing Liang Xiaoqing. Even if it was hard to say, she still managed to voice her anxiety: "I don't know why I'm bleeding..." Then Liang Xiaoqing heard Jiang Xu's sobs.

Liang Xiaoqing had prided herself on taking care of every little thing for Jiang Xu, but she'd forgotten the most important thing. A wave of regret washed over her for having gotten angry at Jiang Xu just now. How many girls had gone through the same anxiety about their changing bodies, just like Jiang Xu?

Liang Xiaoqing walked over and wiped Jiang Xu's tears, speaking gently: "It's all right, Xiao Xu."

Jiang Xu slowly calmed down.

Liang Xiaoqing gave her a light hug: "This isn't an illness. It's a sign that you're growing up. Every girl goes through this."

Liang Xiaoqing's breath brushed against Jiang Xu's ear, and Jiang Xu felt the warm air tickling her. "Th-then, Sister Xiaoqing, do you go through this too?"

"I do." Liang smiled and ruffled her hair. "It means we have healthy, normal wombs. It's a sign of being a woman."

"Then why does it hurt so much?" Jiang Xu voiced her confusion.

"That depends on your body type. This is called menstruation. Women have it once a month. If it comes on time, it means our bodies are healthy. During your period, your body is more fragile, so we need to remember to keep ourselves warm."

Liang Xiaoqing let go of Jiang Xu.

"Don't worry about homework right now. Go rest for a bit."

Jiang Xu nodded, sniffling.

Liang Xiaoqing used her thumb to wipe away her tears and smiled: "Look at you, being silly."

Jiang Xu tried to dodge Liang's hand but couldn't, so she gave up.

"Oh, right." Liang Xiaoqing hurried to the bedroom and rummaged through things, then came back with something Jiang Xu recognized but had never thought much about. She handed it to Jiang Xu: "This is called a sanitary pad. During your period, you put this in your underwear."

"..."

Liang Xiaoqing looked at her uncertainly: "Can you use it?"

Jiang Xu quickly nodded: "I can use it."

She wasn't that dumb.

After worrying all afternoon, it turned out to be nothing. Jiang Xu changed her pants and put on a sanitary pad. Liang Xiaoqing had already cleaned up the blood on the floor and the stool, which made Jiang Xu feel a bit embarrassed.

After dinner, Liang Xiaoqing quickly handed her a glass of something sweet.

Liang Xiaoqing said, "This is brown sugar water. It warms your stomach and helps ease the pain."

Jiang Xu nodded and gulped it all down.

Liang Xiaoqing then nudged her toward the bed: "Be good, sleep for a while. Once you're warm under the covers, it won't hurt as much."

Jiang Xu blushed, but she obeyed and crawled into bed.

Liang Xiaoqing tucked her in. Maybe because she was so weak, Jiang Xu quickly grew drowsy, and her stomach didn't hurt as much.

She stared hazily at the ceiling light, which seemed to blur and spread. Liang Xiaoqing still wasn't asleep, so Jiang Xu stubbornly forced herself to stay awake, determined to wait until Liang slept before she could drift off peacefully.

Finally, the figure hunched over the desk stirred. Jiang Xu followed the blurred shape with her eyes as it stopped by her bedside, its back to her. The figure shed its loose jacket, revealing a pure white tank top underneath, with a sliver of waist exposed. Dark, glossy hair swayed against the camisole, and Jiang Xu's heart swayed along with it.

She instinctively shifted closer, then closed her eyes.

Her lips moved faintly: "Sister Xiaoqing, I'm sorry..."