Forehead Kiss: Refusing to turn back until hitting a brick wall

Jiang Xu had always wanted to buy Liang Xiaoqing something. She truly was, as Liang Xiaoqing had thought, a grateful child. Throughout her college years, Liang Xiaoqing had shown her meticulous care, which was a major reason she had adapted and gotten through university smoothly. Liang Xiaoqing had asked her to focus on her studies in college and not waste her education on part-time jobs.

Jiang Xu understood what she meant. During the countless days she spent working odd jobs, she often found it hard to get by. But whenever she thought about how she could avoid relying on Sister Qing's support, she felt it was manageable. So coming back was also about spending the Spring Festival with Liang Xiaoqing.

Over so many years together, Liang Xiaoqing had never spoken of her own family. Jiang Xu didn't know what Liang Xiaoqing's situation at home was like, but since Liang Xiaoqing never brought it up, she never asked. It was just that every time this holiday meant for family reunions came around, it seemed to dampen Liang Xiaoqing's spirits. Jiang Xu felt that someone ought to be by Liang Xiaoqing's side.

Besides, Liang Xiaoqing had once said that she hoped Jiang Xu would celebrate the holiday with her in the future.

Two days before the New Year, Yang Man made a special trip back from the county seat, saying she wanted to have a meal with Liang Xiaoqing. But since many people ate out during the holiday, Yang Man arrived loaded with bags of groceries and cooked with Liang Xiaoqing instead. In Yang Man's words, home-cooked food always tastes better. One kitchen wasn't quite enough, so Yang Man also turned her own kitchen into a staging ground. Along with a cartload of fresh vegetables, Yang Man brought along a man.

The man was a colleague of Yang Man's husband, named Zeng Peng. He had a master's degree, wasn't bad-looking, and was quite sought after in the hospital. Moreover, in the medical profession, the older you get, the more valuable you become. Wei Xingwen had helped him at work before, and the two had a good relationship. Zeng Peng had never been in a relationship—successful in his career, a graduate student, respectable by any measure—but the lack of a happy family was a slight regret.

Zeng Peng regarded Wei Xingwen as a mentor. Once, jokingly, he asked Wei Xingwen to introduce him to a girlfriend, saying he couldn't just stay single forever. Wei Xingwen mentioned it to Yang Man, and Yang Man decided on Liang Xiaoqing's behalf. It wasn't the first time she'd done something like this.

When Zeng Peng got out of the car with Yang Man, Liang Xiaoqing was still baffled. Wei Xingwen had come along with Yang Man, and on the drive over, Yang Man had boasted about Liang Xiaoqing, singing her praises to the skies.

As for why Yang Man took it upon herself to do this, the main reason was her worry that Liang Xiaoqing would grow old alone in this countryside, where it was hard to meet anyone.

Zeng Peng hadn't had high expectations, but the moment he laid eyes on Liang Xiaoqing, his eyes lit up. He became more attentive in his words and actions, but Liang Xiaoqing didn't seem keen on talking to him, mistaking him for a friend of the couple who had tagged along. Zeng Peng was getting anxious—even Liang Xiaoqing's younger sister, as it were, seemed to regard him with hostility. Wei Xingwen pulled him aside and quietly told him not to rush.

Wei Xingwen and Zeng Peng sat in Yang Man's room, drinking tea and chatting about everything under the sun while the TV played an old Hong Kong martial arts film. Next door in Liang Xiaoqing's room, Yang Man was in the kitchen giving Liang Xiaoqing a pep talk, making clear why Zeng Peng had come.

Liang Xiaoqing felt both helpless and grateful that Yang Man always thought of her. But she declined outright, saying, "Sister Yang, just treat him as a guest coming over."

Yang Man grew anxious seeing her so unyielding, saying she was too stubborn and that people would gossip about her, especially now that she was a teacher at Shuiqing Middle School. She urged Liang Xiaoqing, "You haven't even gotten to know him—how do you know you won't like him? And with Zeng Peng's qualifications, where else are you going to find someone like that? Xiaoqing... I already promised him!"

Whenever Yang Man urged her like this, she stayed silent. She understood the logic, but whether he was suitable was something only she could know. At the same time, she felt deeply troubled by the harsh reality Yang Man pointed out...

This scene, however, stabbed painfully at Jiang Xu's heart. She was glad she had come back, yet she also hated herself for it. If there was a first time, wouldn't there be a second?

At that moment, her resentment toward Yang Man reached its peak. She truly wanted to drive that man named Zeng Peng out, like a stranger invading her territory. This wasn't the first time Yang Man had tried to set Liang Xiaoqing up. Sometimes Jiang Xu thought Yang Man was awfully self-righteous—what right did she have to decide for Liang Xiaoqing?

After years of observation, Liang Xiaoqing had never shown any interest in such matters. That was also one reason Jiang Xu had never given up on her feelings for Liang Xiaoqing.

Besides, how could giving up be so easy?

At the dining table, she picked through the vegetables, listening, her expression dark.

Yang Man had bought so much that the kitchen couldn't hold it all, so part of it was brought to the table. Yang Man's voice was loud, and she was the head cook for dinner, with Liang Xiaoqing as her assistant. Their conversation drifted to Jiang Xu's ears, seemingly endless. Jiang Xu stripped the chives until barely any leaves were left.

Her clear, dark eyes fixed on Liang Xiaoqing's back in the kitchen, and her heart ached sourly.

She thought Liang Xiaoqing was bad too—thoroughly bad.

She finished sorting the chives and brought them to the kitchen, seemingly with no intention of leaving, and started washing vegetables nearby. With three people squeezed in, the already cramped kitchen became even more constricted, and Yang Man couldn't move freely, limiting her cooking. Besides, with Jiang Xu there, she couldn't easily discuss things with Liang Xiaoqing.

Yang Man said politely, "Jiang Xu, why don't you go watch TV or something? Your Sister Qing and I can handle things here. You rarely come back—don't bother with this."

Liang Xiaoqing chimed in, "That's right, Xiao Xu. Go rest a bit. We've got it covered."

Yang Man was planning to make a pickled cabbage fish, and Liang Xiaoqing was slicing the fish fillets, her technique quite practiced. Both her hands were busy, so she leaned toward Jiang Xu and gently nudged her arm with her elbow.

"Xiao Xu, I'm really glad you're back."

Yang Man laughed from the side. "Raised her all these years, and she's still a treasure, huh."

At that, Liang Xiaoqing smiled too.

Perhaps she had thought of something amusing.

Jiang Xu, however, was unimpressed. She ignored Yang Man's words, but when Liang Xiaoqing spoke, she listened while continuing to wash the few chive leaves. The two of them playing off each other only made her a bit sulky, and she didn't feel like talking.

It wasn't until Liang Xiaoqing admitted she was happy Jiang Xu was back that Jiang Xu felt a little lightheaded. Her anger might have faded some, or maybe not. Either way, it finally made her feel like she still held a tiny place in Liang Xiaoqing's heart.

She had stripped the chives down to almost nothing, washed clean, and then picked up a potato to peel. She said, "I can help, Sister Qing. That way, we can eat sooner."

She looked at Liang Xiaoqing again, her pupils pitch-black, reflecting Liang Xiaoqing's face. Liang Xiaoqing couldn't find the words to refuse and only said, "I suppose so."

Oil began to heat in the wok, and Yang Man started frying the fish bones. She told Liang Xiaoqing and Jiang Xu to keep their distance as the oil crackled, but Yang Man handled it with practiced ease. Liang Xiaoqing shielded Jiang Xu behind her, worried the oil might splatter onto her.

"Be careful."

But Jiang Xu, from behind, gently hooked her finger around Liang Xiaoqing's. Liang Xiaoqing turned back in surprise and looked at her, yet didn't pull away.

Soon, a sour and spicy aroma wafted from the wok. Yang Man asked Liang Xiaoqing to bring the chopped tomatoes over. Liang Xiaoqing's heart raced, and like a thief with a guilty conscience, she shook off Jiang Xu's hand.

Since Jiang Xu insisted on staying to help, Yang Man couldn't easily broach certain topics. They switched to other subjects, mostly chattering about Jiang Xu's college life and Yang Man's fondness for telling Liang Xiaoqing about her child.

The dinner was finished in a flurry. Liang Xiaoqing's dining table was bigger, so everyone agreed to eat in her room. The table was laden with dishes, the whole room filled with fragrance. When the last stir-fried greens hit the wok, Yang Man told Liang Xiaoqing to call Wei Xingwen and Zeng Peng over for the meal. Yang Man smiled meaningfully, and Liang Xiaoqing knew what she meant. Helpless, she merely said, "Alright."

When she stepped out, she found Jiang Xu had already called them over.

Wei Xingwen came over with Zeng Peng following behind. Zeng Peng looked a bit embarrassed, so Wei Xingwen put his arm around Zeng Peng's shoulder, his words also carrying a hint of matchmaking as he glanced from Liang Xiaoqing to Zeng Peng. "Come to think of it, you two aren't far apart in age. You should have plenty to talk about."

Zeng Peng's gaze was a little evasive. Since arriving, he hadn't properly greeted Liang Xiaoqing, only stealing glances. Now, he openly extended his hand and smiled. "Hello, I'm Zeng Peng. Though this is my first time meeting you, I've heard Sister Man mention you often." The man wasn't particularly handsome, just tall, with decent manners. Liang Xiaoqing didn't want to embarrass him, so she responded politely, "Hello."

But before she could extend her hand, Jiang Xu pulled her away. With a slight smile on her face, Jiang Xu hooked her arm through Liang Xiaoqing's and said, "Sister Qing, you sit here."

Yang Man came out with the freshly stir-fried greens and called to Wei Xingwen and Zeng Peng, "You two grown men—do we have to beg you to come eat?"

She shot Wei Xingwen a glare.

Zeng Peng chuckled awkwardly and withdrew his hand. "Brother Wei, let's go sit." Wei Xingwen shook his head helplessly, feeling that Jiang Xu didn't appreciate her good fortune. Zeng Peng, for his part, was envious.

The table was almost entirely Yang Man's doing. Wei Xingwen praised her cooking, said she'd worked hard, and told her to sit. Naturally, he wanted to sit beside Yang Man, but Yang Man insisted on sitting next to Liang Xiaoqing. Wei Xingwen had no choice but to sit with Zeng Peng, and Jiang Xu then sat beside Liang Xiaoqing. Just as they settled, Yang Man spoke up again. "Oh, I almost forgot! Xiaoqing, you should sit next to Zeng Peng."

Wei Xingwen quickly chimed in, "That's right, that's right. Xiao Zeng, you sit next to Xiaoqing!"

Zeng Peng had had the same thought—a lively dinner table was the best place to build rapport. But seeing Liang Xiaoqing's uneasy expression, he said it was fine, that sitting anywhere was the same.

It was already quite presumptuous of him to join the meal at all.

Everyone knew those were just polite words, and Liang Xiaoqing knew it too. But she didn't think sitting together would change anything. Whether he sat there or not, she didn't care. She carried an air of aloofness, always on guard. Zeng Peng still moved toward her, half-reluctant, but when he reached Jiang Xu's side, he hit a wall. If he wanted to sit beside Liang Xiaoqing, Jiang Xu would have to make room.

"Heh, heh." Zeng Peng let out two dry laughs.

But Jiang Xu didn't even look at him. She just held Liang Xiaoqing's arm, gazing at her with a cajoling tone. "Sister Qing, I want to sit next to you."

Zeng Peng stood there, awkward.

Jiang Xu wouldn't give an inch.

Liang Xiaoqing breathed a sigh of relief, looked up at Zeng Peng with an apologetic expression, and opened her mouth to speak. Yang Man stood up to ease the tension, waving Zeng Peng over to her seat. "Come, come, Xiao Zeng, sit here—it's the same."

Zeng Peng acknowledged and sat on Liang Xiaoqing's other side. He was a bit stiff as he sat down. Liang Xiaoqing gave him a small smile, and Zeng Peng relaxed a little, managing to exchange a few words with her.

Jiang Xu's heart ached in sharp pangs. The whole evening, she couldn't taste her food.

The table was lively, and Liang Xiaoqing occasionally picked food for her. Wei Xingwen had brought a bottle of liquor, and Liang Xiaoqing had a bit. It wasn't too harsh. Wei Xingwen poured some for Jiang Xu as well. Liang Xiaoqing instinctively tried to stop her, saying she was still young. Wei Xingwen, happily eating, said a little was fine and that the liquor wouldn't get her drunk.

Jiang Xu wanted to drink a bit. Over the years, Liang Xiaoqing had kept a tight rein on her, and she'd been the perfect good girl outside. Bai Tian in the dorm used to say she seemed fearless, yet couldn't even drink—what was she pretending for?

Once, Wang Yu organized the roommates to have an outdoor barbecue. Four girls ordered a case of beer. It was Jiang Xu's first time drinking. It didn't taste great, but it oddly made her thoughts flow more smoothly. She had been troubled by things concerning Liang Xiaoqing, sometimes anguished, sometimes drowning in the gentle sweetness of it.

Her feelings had been built into a solid bridge by her rationality, and only when that rationality wavered did those thoughts break free. That night, Jiang Xu got drunk, and Wang Yu had to bring her back to the dorm, saying she was both laughing and crying. Everyone had thought she was a cold, aloof person.

But that gathering had changed their view of her.

Before Liang Xiaoqing could stop her, she downed the cup in one go, then asked for another.

Liang Xiaoqing looked a bit annoyed. "Xiao Xu."

Yang Man glanced at Liang Xiaoqing and said that Jiang Xu was an adult now, so a little drink was fine, especially since the liquor wasn't strong. Liang Xiaoqing had to let it go, worrying that Jiang Xu might overdo it while picking up the conversation Zeng Peng had offered.

They chatted about trivial things. As the meal wound down with drinks and full stomachs, most of the dishes were cleared. Liang Xiaoqing kept drinking too, feeling a certain unavoidable helplessness wash over her. What weighed on her heart most was a deep gloom—that in the end, no one in this world could truly understand her.

Perhaps because she'd drunk a lot, her head grew fuzzy. At the table, Yang Man laughed heartily, Wei Xingwen's face flushed red, and even Zeng Peng had shed his earlier restraint, cracking a few jokes with Liang Xiaoqing when the occasion called for it.

As for Jiang Xu, whenever her gaze drifted over, she would meet Jiang Xu's.

Jiang Xu's eyes shimmered with a layer of moisture. Maybe the drink had gone to her head—she smiled and picked food for Jiang Xu, telling her to eat more. Then she leaned a little closer.

And then she heard Yang Man say, "Xiaoqing, Xiaoqing, are you drunk? Your tolerance is terrible—you can't even outdrink this kid Jiang Xu, hahaha!"

The table erupted in laughter and cheer. Everyone seemed more familiar with one another, and even Zeng Peng clinked glasses with her a few times.

After eating and drinking their fill, everyone's face glowed red with satisfaction—except Jiang Xu.

Liang Xiaoqing frowned, pinched Jiang Xu's cheek, and said, "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you smiling? Still mad at me?"

As for being mad, Jiang Xu didn't even know what she should be angry about, or what reason she had to be.

Liang Xiaoqing then slumped against Jiang Xu, completely undignified. Yang Man laughed. "Xiaoqing, you're really drunk."

It was as if a wall stood between her and the world—Liang Xiaoqing couldn't hear clearly through her ears. She just clung to Jiang Xu's arm, finding that she smelled nice. Jiang Xu had no choice but to help her over to the sofa. Seeing Liang Xiaoqing like this, Yang Man and the others figured it was time to leave. Jiang Xu couldn't have been happier to see them go and said she'd take care of the dishes herself.

Zeng Peng, reluctant, offered to clean up, saying he'd caused trouble anyway. Jiang Xu didn't care much for him, but she knew Liang Xiaoqing's temperament, so she let him.

Out of sight, out of mind—she helped Liang Xiaoqing into the bedroom. Before leaving, Yang Man told Zeng Peng to come sleep at their place once he was done—her dorm was bigger, with two rooms, and she had a bed for him. Zeng Peng agreed readily.

He wasn't great at washing dishes, but to achieve his goal, showing off a bit wouldn't hurt. Soon enough, he finished the dishes. There was no reason to linger, so he stood cautiously at the bedroom door and knocked. The door wasn't shut tight, and light seeped through the gap.

Inside, the room was cramped, the bed small, with no lights on. Light from outside spilled in, just enough to make out a blurry figure on the bed.

The girl who had seemed hostile toward him was sitting on the edge of the bed. It was too dark for Zeng Peng to see clearly, and the noise he made didn't catch her attention.

"Um..."

He leaned in a little, and his voice died in his throat.

The door opened a crack wider, and he saw.

The girl, looking somewhat stiff, bent down and kissed the sleeping woman's forehead. He found it a bit odd but couldn't put his finger on why. For a girl, such an intimate gesture was common enough.

He stood there for a moment, stunned. Jiang Xu caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye and knew he was there. She gently stroked Liang Xiaoqing's cheek, her head growing heavier.

She rose unhurriedly and walked toward Zeng Peng, slowly closing the distance.

Zeng Peng's expression turned strange.

Jiang Xu gave a soft, dismissive laugh, perhaps spurred by the alcohol. "Give up. I won't let anyone take Sister Qing from me."

"..."

Zeng Peng felt humiliated and left in a hurry. Yang Man and Wei Xingwen were still waiting to ask how it went, and he gave vague answers, but he couldn't make sense of what Jiang Xu had said. He tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep.

Jiang Xu, on the other hand, had done what she wanted and said what she wanted, feeling an incomparable sense of relief. Nothing felt better than doing exactly what she'd set her mind to.

Liang Xiaoqing was still asleep, her eyes closed, her lashes faintly trembling. Jiang Xu sat on the edge of the bed, unsure if what she'd done was right, but she truly had been in too much pain. She took Liang Xiaoqing's hand.

Liang Xiaoqing was dead to the world. Jiang Xu whispered, "I'm sorry, Sister Qing."

Even as she apologized, she was thinking that the man named Zeng Peng probably wouldn't come bothering Liang Xiaoqing again, and that maybe nothing like this would ever happen to Liang Xiaoqing again. She was a little afraid he might expose what he'd seen, but so what if he did? She was no longer the little girl who used to hide behind Liang Xiaoqing.

In the darkness, Jiang Xu's eyes were strangely bright. She squeezed Liang Xiaoqing's hand, then went to her suitcase and fished something out, tucking it beneath the clothes at the very bottom, well hidden.

It was a gift box the size of a palm. The small box was adorned with delicate decorations, sparkling faintly in the night.

Jiang Xu placed the little box beside Liang Xiaoqing's pillow, then sat back down by the bed. She didn't feel sleepy at all, just quietly watched Liang Xiaoqing—like a stubborn little beast, faintly predatory, refusing to turn back until it had crashed into the wall.