Qingzhen: Xiao Xu, You Don't Need to Say Sorry

When she was young, everything in her eyes seemed vast and far away. A journey of twenty or thirty li might be one some people never escaped in their entire lives. The distance from Shuiqing Town to the county town stretched endlessly, beyond the reach of sight. When Jiang Xu was still small, she had tried running away from home. Every time she reached the foot of the mountain and looked at the branching roads spreading in all directions, a sense of bewilderment would wash over her.

She had never truly tried, so she feared the unknown like a flood or a beast. Lacking the courage to face the storms beyond, Jiang Xu could only purse her lips, think of Jiang Daguo's fury, and trudge back, breathless, to that suffocating mud-brick house.

What she once thought was an insurmountable difficulty turned out to be nothing more than an ordinary trifle in someone else's eyes.

Jiang Xu stood by the roadside, staring blankly at the stream of passersby.

Qingzhen was the nearest town to Shuiqing Township and also the largest town in the vicinity.

After a bumpy ride, once Jiang Xu grew accustomed to the rocking motion, she let go of the fabric at Liang Xiaoqing's waist and instead gently wrapped her arms around it, resting her head against her back. The warm sunlight made her drowsy. In her hazy state, she could hardly make out the scenery around her.

It wasn't until Liang Xiaoqing called out "Xiao Xu" that she opened her eyes unhurriedly. Liang Xiaoqing got off the bicycle, patted her shoulder, and smiled, revealing white teeth: "We've arrived. Today I'll take you on a good tour of this place."

The face before her went from blurry to clear. The noise of the crowd brushed past her ears, the jingling of bicycle bells mingled with the voices, all speeding by so fast that Jiang Xu could barely catch them. Amid the rough, chaotic backdrop, Liang Xiaoqing's words, closest to her, fell into her ears one by one.

Soft, warm palm covered her head again, and her hair was ruffled messily by Liang Xiaoqing's hand. Jiang Xu's head tilted slightly with the motion.

"Why are you sleepy again? I remember we went to bed quite early last night."

Liang Xiaoqing's tone lifted slightly at the end. Jiang Xu pressed her lips together and said nothing. She thought of the comfort and ease of lying in that warm bed. Warm, soft, with a faint familiar fragrance lingering at the tip of her nose. In just a few days, she had grown accustomed to sleeping in what used to be Liang Xiaoqing's bed. In the past, she had never slept so well.

Liang Xiaoqing's hand withdrew from her head. Jiang Xu shifted her numb legs, trying to get off the bicycle's rear seat, but her feet were still a bit off the ground, and the jostling of the ride had left her buttocks aching dully. With a slight effort, Jiang Xu let out a soft "hiss," and with no leverage, she couldn't get off the bike. So she could only stretch her feet to reach the ground, worried that her slow movements would make Liang Xiaoqing wait too long.

Her small face flushed red, not just red but burning hot. No matter how she tried, her feet couldn't reach the ground, and she inwardly blamed the bicycle for being so tall. Her buttocks were rubbed sore by the metal rack of the rear seat, and Jiang Xu was momentarily at a loss. In the end, with no other option, she gave up trying and put all her weight on her right leg, stretching her foot into a straight line, toes straining to touch the ground.

A "pfft" laugh sounded, and a pair of hands caught her under her armpits, supporting her body's weight.

"I was wondering why you couldn't get down for so long. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"..."

Liang Xiaoqing's teasing tone made Jiang Xu even more embarrassed, her face and neck flushing deep red.

The hand supporting Jiang Xu moved from her armpit to her waist. Liang Xiaoqing took two steps to her side, behind her.

"Come on, Xiao Xu."

A thin breath brushed against her cheek. Before Jiang Xu could react, Liang Xiaoqing's other arm came around from the left, pressing against her waist. Jiang Xu instinctively gripped Liang Xiaoqing's arm, leaning half her weight against her. A force lifted her from the waist, the back of her head touched something soft, and with a gentle ease, her right foot landed firmly on the ground.

She was off the bike entirely. That soft touch disappeared.

"Stand here for a moment, okay? I'll go park the bicycle over there."

The force around her waist was gone; Liang Xiaoqing stepped back a little, pointing to the bike shed across the way.

Jiang Xu followed her finger.

Shuiqing Township was nothing compared to Qingzhen. Though Shuiqing Township already had a sizable population, next to Qingzhen it was like a minor deity in the presence of a major one. The cement-widened streets were packed with people squeezed close together. Through the gaps between them, she caught sight of the bike shed Liang Xiaoqing had pointed at.

"Okay." Jiang Xu withdrew her gaze and looked up at Liang Xiaoqing. "I'll wait for you, Teacher Liang."

Her eyes squinted against the light, and from those narrow slits, she looked at Liang Xiaoqing's face. She was not old, but her speech often carried a cold, distant tone. Jiang Xu, realizing it belatedly, thought she had been too cold toward Liang Xiaoqing.

Liang Xiaoqing just smiled, bent down, and brushed her cheek: "Be good."

It was just a casual touch, but the warmth lingered on her face even after the hand withdrew, fingertips tapping lightly on her cheek.

No one had ever called her "good" before, not even Wang Cai would do that. Jiang Xu watched Liang Xiaoqing push the bicycle toward the crowd. Compared to those around her, she was noticeably thinner and frailer, yet she drew attention. Even from just her back, one could tell this woman was very beautiful.

Jiang Xu moved a little to the side until Liang Xiaoqing's back disappeared from view. She then dropped her gaze, staring at the cement ground so different from Shuiqing Township, thinking to herself: Oh, so the town has so many people, and the roads for walking are wide avenues. If it rained, shoes and pants wouldn't get splashed with mud.

And the clothes people wore in town were different from those in the countryside. Their clothes were decent, clean and neat, giving one a refreshing feeling at first sight. Perhaps because it was a holiday, there were many people on the streets, including stylishly dressed women.

Girls passed by in front of her, sometimes in twos, sometimes in threes. They wore hairstyles she had occasionally seen on TV, their faces made up with cosmetics she had only heard of but never seen. They were youthful and pretty, radiant like freshly bloomed flowers. They linked arms, smiles on their faces, looking like good friends.

There were vendors calling out by the roadside, various food carts set up, the sizzle of frying, the steaming aroma of buns and mantou coming out of the steamer, and the repeated hawking from speakers.

Those glossy, polished girls made Jiang Xu seem drab and dull by contrast. Bright colors flickered across her eyes from time to time. She stepped back a little, looked down at her ill-fitting, oversized clothes and pants, washed so many times they had faded white. One trouser leg was rolled up, the other not, dragging on the ground. On her feet were a pair of black-and-white sneakers, their color likewise washed out from repeated cleaning.

Her head, already lowered, dipped even further. Her shoulders hunched slightly, her whole body curling inward, as if trying to shrink away. She sat down on the stone steps at the edge, her head resting on her knees, hiding most of her face, leaving only a pair of large eyes—pitch-black pupils—fixed on the shoes of the passersby coming and going in a hurry.

Jiang Xu felt she had waited for an eternity.

An unfamiliar place, unfamiliar faces—like an animal that had wandered into another creature's territory, Jiang Xu pricked up her ears, ever on guard.

Fortunately, this anxious mood did not last too long. Her familiar figure finally reappeared before her eyes. In a white shirt and jeans, she was walking slowly toward her, but the pedestrians kept blocking her path, forcing her to stop and wait before continuing on.

It was the simplest of outfits, yet it made Jiang Xu's eyes light up. The figure grew closer and closer, from a blurry silhouette to a clear view of the smile on her face. Liang Xiaoqing's features were all small and delicate, looking somewhat plain, but nevertheless, one couldn't take their eyes off her.

Jiang Xu didn't know how others felt, but this was what she thought when she saw Liang Xiaoqing.

Her gaze went from aimless wandering to settling on a single point. She was still sitting on the stone steps. If one saw a familiar face, then the wait no longer seemed so long. Liang Xiaoqing's steps were just the right pace, until she stood before Jiang Xu and looked down at her.

"Why are you sitting on the ground?"

It wasn't a scolding tone, but concern. Liang Xiaoqing's hand lifted, probably to pull her up. Jiang Xu noticed the movement and, as if anticipating it, stood up. Liang Xiaoqing withdrew her hand.

Standing on the stone steps, Jiang Xu was about the same height as Liang Xiaoqing. She looked at her level, and her heart seemed to beat faster. Liang Xiaoqing's eyes held a questioning look. Jiang Xu lowered her eyelids, gazing at her collar.

Liang Xiaoqing frowned in confusion.

But Jiang Xu reached out and tugged at her hand.

"Teacher Liang, let's go shopping quickly."

"...Alright."

Liang Xiaoqing glanced into the distance, then held Jiang Xu's hand and walked forward.

Squeezing through the bustling crowd was no easy task, especially during the holiday rush. Along the main road, Jiang Xu followed behind Liang Xiaoqing, seemingly able to see only her back.

Before long, a snack was slipped into her hand—the crispy aroma of fried scallions mixed with the flaky scent of a fried flatbread, so hot that Jiang Xu almost dropped it.

Liang Xiaoqing switched hands to hold hers, turned her head to look at her, and had a similar flatbread in her own hand: "Something to tide you over, Xiao Xu." As she spoke, the ends of her brows lifted slightly.

Jiang Xu noticed that when Liang Xiaoqing was happy, she would move her eyebrows like that when she spoke. She took a bite of the steaming flatbread—it must have been hot, one eye squinting shut before quickly opening again. Her mouth full, she mumbled, "This shop's guokui is a hot seller, lucky I didn't have to queue today. Usually you'd have to wait half an hour."

Then she smiled, took another bite, and seeing that Jiang Xu still hadn't eaten, said, "Eat up. It won't taste as good cold."

"...Mm."

No one had taught Jiang Xu proper manners, but this flatbread called guokui did smell delicious. Jiang Xu took a bite, the crispy, fragrant outer shell and the perfectly cooked meat filling inside both hitting her mouth at once. The flavor burst on her tongue, as if her taste buds had fully awakened—so good it sent a shiver through her.

Jiang Xu's eyes widened.

Seeing her reaction, Liang Xiaoqing seemed to be laughing at her: "Tasty, right?"

Jiang Xu's cheeks flushed slightly: "Tasty."

Liang Xiaoqing watched her eat, and she felt a bit wary. But Liang Xiaoqing quickly turned her head back around. Jiang Xu restrained herself, taking small bites of the flatbread in her hand. Bite after bite, within a few minutes, she had finished it. She licked her lips, where a trace of oil still lingered.

Jiang Xu swallowed, and seeing Liang Xiaoqing still had a bite or two left, her face burned with embarrassment again.

She thought that probably no child ate the way she did, at least in Liang Xiaoqing's world, it was something rarely seen.

Jiang Xu felt ashamed.

But Liang Xiaoqing stopped.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jiang Xu caught the slight upward curve of Liang Xiaoqing's lips. Liang Xiaoqing let go of her hand, which made Jiang Xu's whole body tense up.

When she was small, she had been too greedy, and had recklessly fought with Jiang Lun over an egg. What she got in return was a beating from Jiang Daguo, and even Wang Cai hadn't been spared.

The twisted face, the brutal voice, the ruthless kicks and punches, and the bruises on Wang Cai's face—for a long time, these were nightmares Jiang Xu had at night. From then on, Jiang Xu never dared to eat an extra egg.

Perhaps the shadow left behind was too deep; Jiang Xu suddenly felt as if she were about to be abandoned.

"I'm sorry!..."

This was the first time she had taken the initiative, and urgently, to explain to Liang Xiaoqing: "I won't be greedy anymore."

A hint of surprise seemed to flicker across Liang Xiaoqing's face, but it quickly returned to normal. She pulled a tissue from her pocket, bent down, and brought it close to Jiang Xu's face.

The tissue, touched by Liang Xiaoqing, carried her unique scent. Liang Xiaoqing folded it into a small square and gently wiped her lips.

"Xiao Xu, you don't need to say sorry."

Her lips were carefully wiped clean by Liang Xiaoqing, seemingly stained with that particular scent of hers.

After wiping, Liang Xiaoqing took her hand again and continued walking: "Xiao Xu, what I buy for you is yours. From now on, if there's something you want, you have to go after it yourself, understand?"

"..."

Her tense body slowly relaxed. Jiang Xu followed behind Liang Xiaoqing, stepping in her tracks.

She stared at Liang Xiaoqing's back, a gleam shining in her dark eyes.

She was thinking about what she wanted.