The Girl I Sponsored Won’t Leave Me Alone

Memory: Recalling Jiang Xu holding a Battered Basin in the Courtyard.

Fear crept slowly across her face as Jiang Xu clutched the hair clip in her palm, the clasp digging into her flesh and sending a dull ache through her hand.

In the darkness, even the slightest sound seemed jarringly loud. Jiang Xu sat up, her hair a mess, staring fixedly at the direction of the door. The noise outside grew louder, making her heart leap into her throat, her breaths so shallow they were barely audible.

Whoever it was, she had to be on high alert. If it were Jiang Daguo, it would surely mean a beating; if it were Jiang Lun...

Jiang Xu squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to dwell on such thoughts.

The cold wind poured in through the cracks in the window. Jiang Xu's face was already pale, and the gust made it even whiter. The pain in her palm made her think of someone. She opened her hand and looked at the hair clip. Its faint glimmer made her squint, as if she were holding a piece of the night sky's stars right in her palm.

Jiang Xu's eyes suddenly grew moist. What would she do if she were here?

If she were by her side, she would surely protect her—she wouldn't have to fear anything. But happy moments were always fleeting; some darkness she had to face on her own.

Jiang Xu carefully tucked the hair clip into her pocket, slipped out of bed, and moved to the door with steps as light as a cat's. Groping in the dark, she found the wooden stick and pressed it firmly against the door. On the other side came another round of "thud, thud" knocking. Jiang Xu held her breath, pressing her entire body against the door. She made not a sound, her gaze darting blindly through the darkness. Everywhere she looked was pitch-black, except for the sliver of light seeping in through the window that wouldn't shut.

If there was no other way, she would dash over, pry open the window, and jump out. The thought jolted her whole body.

Soon, the noises from the other side ceased. Jiang Xu still leaned against the door, hearing a few heavy breaths. The footsteps gradually faded, and Jiang Xu's tense body relaxed, letting out a heavy sigh.

When she lay back down in bed, a chill ran through her entire being. She slipped her hand into her pocket, her fingertips stroking the hair clip Liang Xiaoqing had given her. A single glance at it brought Liang Xiaoqing to mind.

She had left with nothing out of pride, bringing back the clothes she'd come with, untouched. Liang Xiaoqing had bought her so many things—clothes, shoes, and more... Jiang Xu's self-respect was both stubborn and fragile, and right now she overlooked how those things could have eased her immediate struggles.

It was too cold. In comparison, Liang Xiaoqing's home was like a warm nest.

Jiang Xu shivered and decided once more to push thoughts of Liang Xiaoqing from her mind, but in the next moment, Liang Xiaoqing sprang back into her thoughts anyway.

Once awake, she tossed and turned, unable to fall back asleep. She was still afraid someone might smash through that rickety door, and those memories replayed in her mind over and over. It wasn't until the small hours, when the blankets had warmed up, that she finally drifted off into a hazy sleep.

Winter in the south was like being in an ice cellar. It was cold outside, but inside could be colder still. The wind outside howled without pause, rattling the glass panes.

Liang Xiaoqing rarely had trouble sleeping, but tonight was an exception. She opened her eyes to check the time again; the alarm clock showed it was only five in the morning. She sat up in bed, ran a hand through her tousled hair, and let out a soft sigh.

Since Jiang Xu had left, Liang Xiaoqing had stopped sleeping on the floor. For one, it was too cold, and for another, the pallet took up too much space—the dormitory room she'd been assigned was barely bigger than a shoebox.

It felt a little too roomy with just one person, and a little too cramped with two.

Actually, when she'd first brought Jiang Xu home, she'd wondered if she'd made a rash decision. After all, two people sharing such a small space was a tight squeeze.

If she'd had more time, she would have applied for a student dorm for Jiang Xu and planned things more carefully.

But Jiang Xu's behavior had quickly proven her worries unfounded. Jiang Xu was a sensible child, considerate in every way. In fact, Jiang Xu had even changed some of her habits in small ways.

Because she had to make breakfast for Jiang Xu, she started getting up half an hour earlier. Jiang Xu insisted she eat too, otherwise she would feel uneasy.

And so, she'd managed to break her habit of skipping breakfast—which was a good habit to pick up.

The only downside was that she'd kept the habit ever since.

She got up early out of routine, especially in winter, when it was still dark. She'd flick on the light, and thick condensation would cling to the windowpanes. Outside, everything was shrouded in mist, barely discernible.

She'd usually cook, only to remember halfway that Jiang Xu wasn't there anymore, and end up eating the two portions she'd made across two meals.

As it was now, she sat at the table, eating an egg and drinking milk, staring blankly at the empty seat across from her. She didn't really like milk, but because Jiang Xu had been staying with her, she'd stocked up on several cartons.

Liang Xiaoqing glanced at the cartons of milk, wondering when she'd ever finish them.

Jiang Xu was too stubborn. Those things had clearly been bought for her. She hadn't even let her get a word in edgewise before leaving without a second thought.

Her original plan had been to comfort her a little more, then go home with her the next day and bring all those things along. The milk, the clothes in the wardrobe—she'd even wanted to buy Jiang Xu a pair of cotton shoes, but she'd been too busy lately and had forgotten.

Not to mention, she'd meant to tell her to eat well and not to fall behind in her studies at home. There was always a way. It wasn't as if there was no place in the house to study—it just might be harder for Jiang Xu, with too many distractions pulling her focus away.

Thinking it all over, Liang Xiaoqing couldn't help but blame herself. Maybe she was just too clumsy with words.

How could she have said something like that to Jiang Xu? She was still a young girl—no way she could bear such heavy words... Looking back, she regretted it every time. Maybe if she'd been a little more tactful, Jiang Xu wouldn't have reacted that way...

Li Jingquan's words that day had indeed been harsh, but Yang Man later told her that Li Jingquan hadn't intended to report it to the school leadership. Instead, he'd advised her to focus all her energy on teaching. Someone else would handle the rest.

Liang Xiaoqing had breathed a sigh of relief after that, glad she hadn't lost her job. But while she'd initially seen Li Jingquan's warning as a big deal, as time passed, she couldn't stop thinking about Jiang Xu's difficult situation.

Giving up halfway never led to anything.

After finishing her egg, Liang Xiaoqing let out another sigh.

If only she hadn't said anything to Jiang Xu...

These past two days, she kept recalling the first time she'd visited Jiang Xu's home—Jiang Xu standing in the courtyard holding a battered basin, a ring of little chicks gathered at her feet.

On the table lay a few answer sheets, the ones Jiang Xu had brought back to her that night, telling her in a hesitant voice that she'd scored first in her class.

Unfortunately, Jiang Xu never saw how happy that made her. To be honest, Liang Xiaoqing had been delighted, even a little surprised. Judging from Jiang Xu's previous exam scores, she hadn't been at the top. But this time, Jiang Xu had come in first.

Liang Xiaoqing remembered that she had indeed sprained her ankle that day and could barely move. After Jiang Xu left, all she could do was worry from where she sat.

She slowly shifted her body onto the sofa, held Jiang Xu's answer sheets up to the light, and studied them for a long time.

She could hardly contain her excitement. The teachers at Qing Middle all hoped the children would find a way out through education.

After examining the answer sheets for a while, she called Yang Man. Yang Man told her, "Jiang Xu really is a promising seedling. With the right nurturing, she might go far in the future."

There was a note of enthusiasm in Yang Man's words. She didn't intend to get involved in the good deed Liang Xiaoqing had taken on. When Jiang Xu had first moved in with Liang Xiaoqing, she hadn't approved—especially given Jiang Xu's unreasonable parents.

Besides, she was Jiang Xu's homeroom teacher, after all.

So, after talking about Jiang Xu's grades, Yang Man tried to dissuade Liang Xiaoqing: "But let's be fair, Jiang Xu's grades are good because she's got a head for studying. And she's only in first year of middle school—who can say what the future holds? Better not to judge too early. Look at Jiang Xu's parents—are they easy to deal with? They dared to come to school and hit someone this time, so who knows what they'll do next! You're a nice young woman with no family or connections here. Why get tangled up in this?"

As she spoke, Yang Man patted her hand, falling back on the same old refrain: "If you really feel bad about it, just visit her at home more often. Qing Middle's doors will always be open to students..."

Liang Xiaoqing knew Yang Man genuinely meant well. Far from home, they looked out for each other. But on second thought, she wanted to say that in the time she'd lived with Jiang Xu, she'd come to see her as family—she'd keenly realized this was a bond as strong as blood.

Because no matter the kind of affection, it was precious to Liang Xiaoqing.

Of course, she couldn't say that to Yang Man...

Liang Xiaoqing nodded along, listening without objection. Maybe her acquiescence fooled her, because Yang Man's earnest advice finally wound down: "Go home for the winter break and have a proper New Year with your family. You're from Chengchuan, right? I can tell from your accent."

Liang Xiaoqing nodded, which opened another floodgate of Yang Man's chattering, from this to that, all sorts of topics. She said she'd love to visit that area sometime. Liang Xiaoqing offered to host her and show her around.

"Sounds great..." Yang Man laughed heartily, saying she definitely would.

After Yang Man left, Liang Xiaoqing flipped through those neatly folded answer sheets again and again, her satisfaction growing with each look. Finally, she hopped on her injured leg to her room and, with a pen, recorded Jiang Xu's final grades for the semester in her work notebook.

In the last column of the table, she drew a big smiley face.

By now, those answer sheets had been handled so much they were wrinkled and worn. Liang Xiaoqing thought for a moment, walked to the bedroom, took a white envelope from the desk drawer, folded Jiang Xu's answer sheets neatly, and placed them inside.

Two in the afternoon was the warmest time of the day, but the sky was overcast. At least it wasn't raining, which was better than the past few days.

The distant mountains traced a gray, hazy line against the window. Liang Xiaoqing's foot hadn't fully healed yet, so she walked with a slight unevenness. She went to the wardrobe, bent down, and pulled out several thick pieces of clothing, packing them into a large bag.

She changed into warm clothes herself, picked up the things in both hands, and headed out.

On the winding path, a slender figure gradually faded into the distance at the road's end.